Guilt

I have been trying all day to think of what I would write about. I don’t feel particularly happy or in a good mood. Yesterday was Internet-free day in our house and I felt liberated by the fact that I hardly took any pictures all day . . . of food anyway. I did take plenty of pictures of me, Corey and Callie in the park.

But there is one thing that has been on my mind all day. Corey and I have plans for a date night tonight. Since both of us have the next couple of days off work, it’s kind of nice (and a little luxurious) to have a date night in the middle of the week. We are going to one of our favorite places, Farm Burger. The burgers are made of grass-fed beef and every single ingredient is local and organic. The burgers are the best burgers I have ever had. Ever. I can really tell the difference in taste by eating all natural and local ingredients.

The problem that I have is guilt. All day long I have been feeling guilty for the fact that I will be eating a hamburger and onion rings and I have no idea how many calories are in them. I can’t seem to shake off this guilt or the feeling that I will gain ten pounds from the meal. Logically, I know that’s not possible. I know that it’s still possible for me to lose weight this week despite eating this meal. But I keep thinking about all the ways this meal could hurt me and my efforts to lose weight. I even contemplated restricting my calories for the rest of the day. I won’t. I know that not eating enough will make me want to eat even more tonight.

I am letting my guilt ruin my excitement over eating a wonderful meal and spending time with my husband. How do I get rid of this guilt? I am trying to talk myself out of this guilt, but that is much easier said than done.

It’s probably because my weight loss is progressing so slowly. So slowly that I am afraid to eat anything I like because it may jeopardize my efforts. But I feel the effects of my workouts. I actually have a little bit of definition in my biceps now. I see muscle for the first time in a long time. My abs, triceps, quads and thighs are sore from yesterday’s Jillian Michaels workout. Those are good things. Regardless of what pants size I am currently wearing, I know that I am getting stronger.

I know this post has been a bit of a ramble. I appreciate you guys for hanging in there with me. I feel better just by venting. I love the support that the blogging community provides. :)

And now I am going to end this post on an upbeat note: some pictures of me and my little family at the park yesterday. I love this weather!

Playing Fetch!

Taking a break from playing for some petting time

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11 responses to “Guilt

  1. I know exactly what you mean, but just because you eat this meal doesn’t mean you won’t lose (as you said). And spending time with your husband is SO much more important- focus on that:)

  2. I know what you mean about this type of guilt. It happens to me too. I try to tell myself that one meal won’t make or break me. And if I still can’t shake the guilt, I try to eat even better on the day after the meal. I hope you have a great time!!!!

  3. Ugh, I hate that feeling! And you know you’re being ridiculous when it’s happening, but you can’t help it! Not sure how to get rid of it exactly, but maybe follow up with a positive thought?

  4. Guilt is such a hard emotion to shake, especially in terms of food and exercise. I always try to remember that my body knows how to handle excess calories and I will naturally be less hungry the next day because it wants to even things out. Also, when eating a meal you truly enjoy, when you really listen to your hunger and fullness, you will probably eat less.

    Weight loss and health is such a mental game sometimes…which makes it so much more than just calories in/calories out!!

    PS. Your dog is adorable :)

    • I love this response. Great way of putting things into perspective!

      I think to me, the guilt is a good indication that you’re being a bit too hard on yourself. Maybe setting standards and expectations that are difficult to uphold…? I do the same thing, as everyone else seems has said, and I know it’s a good sign that I’ve become very rigid with myself and need to be a bit more flexible. Otherwise, it becomes something impossible to maintain and my day-to-day happiness suffers.

  5. I always feel this way and sometimes cancel dinner with my friends because of it… When I do go, I never ending up gaining the weight I had imagined. I hope you went and if you were still stressed ate everything in Moderation!

  6. I for sure feel the same way! I try to avoid eating out for a lot of reasons (cost being number one!) but I can’t help but feel like I’m going to gain weight because of one meal out. I have been gaining weight recently, so every time I eat out I feel so guilty! I’m glad I’m not the only one that feels this way, but I don’t think it’s a healthy thing to feel. I hope you enjoyed your dinner with your husband!

  7. If you give in to the guilt, by not ordering the hamburger or maybe just eating half or otherwise restricting your appetite either you will end up bingeing in order to compensate OR you will end up getting sucked into restriction mode and eventually start feeling guilt over things like bananas or an extra handful of nuts.
    I know this from my experience and it seems to be so common.
    I have a feeling once you get there you’ll be ok…but the guilt may come back afterward or the next day and that’s when you really gotta stay positive and remember everything you wrote and read in this blog.

    Have fun!

  8. Remember: life is not all about weight. In 10 years are you going to remember what you weighed today? No. But you will remember the time spent with your husband.

    How long have you been dieting? I ask because I know when I was in the midst of my weight loss I actually had to go up to maintenance calories for a month to re-start the fat loss process and jump-start my metabolism. It helped A TON — and really helped with my sanity and thought process.
    <3

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