Last night, my Internet went out. Drats! My husband and I are kind of fed up with Comcast because we keep having trouble with our Internet. Either it’s too slow or we keep having outages and last night the Internet was out all night long . . . the horror! So alas, I was unable to blog.

Anyway, one thing that I wanted to talk about today is weight loss. I don’t mention my weight on this blog that often (not that I’ve posted thousands of entries or anything) and I will rarely post about whether I’ve gained, lost, or just maintained for the week. The fact is that I have been focused on my number for way too long.

There was a time not too long ago (in my yo-yo dieting phase) where I would be obsessed with how much I lost for the week. I would also be obsessed with counting calories and also with whether I was eating “good” foods or “bad” foods. If you’ve read many entires to this blog, you probably know by now that I am not that girl anymore. I eat fried foods. I eat butter and chocolate. I also eat fruits, vegetables, and tons of bacon. Well . . . maybe not tons. But a lot. Honestly, right now I am more focused on the journey rather than the destination. Did I say that right? I am trying to like myself again. This is a hard one. 5 years ago (seems like a lifetime), I had finally reached my goal weight after months of painful exercising and depriving myself. But was I happy? No. I wanted to lose even more weight. Because I hated the person I was. I hated my body. And I hated who I was on the inside as well.

me at my goal weight

At this point in time, I know enough to realize that a number on a scale isn’t going to make me happy. Do I still have a goal weight in mind? Sure. I know that my BMI is considered overweight and with my family history of heart disease and diabetes, I definitely want to take care of myself. But I also know that if I don’t work on liking the person that I am now, then I won’t like the person that I become just because I am 30 pounds lighter. I will still be miserable and I will eventually gain the weight back just like I have all the other times. So even though I still weigh myself once a week (and really struggle to keep it at that), I try not to get down if the scale goes up or if the scale doesn’t go anywhere. My clothes do feel looser and I actually feel better about myself than I have in years. But it’s not about the fact that I’ve already lost 15 pounds. It’s about the fact that exercise is giving me back some of my confidence, I feel more energetic, and I also feel healthier because of the foods that I am eating.

And every day, I am working on accepting my outward appearance for what it is and appreciating my body for everything it gives me, regardless of my size.

Since this is a food blog and I was unable to blog yesterday, I will leave you guys with some pictures of things that I ate yesterday and today.

I had a big bowl of Barbara’s Puffins, shredded wheat, strawberries, and nonfat milk for yesterday’s breakfast. It was very filling, but I may have eaten a little too much cereal. It was the first bowl of cereal I’ve had in ages so I went a little cereal crazy!

A taco salad made with homemade taco seasoning, some iceberg lettuce, and cheese for yesterday’s lunch

And don’t forget the tortilla chips!

Last night’s dinner was chicken stuffed with cheese. Mmm . . . delish. I will share that recipe at a later time. It is basically chicken cordon bleu without the bleu. 🙂 It is a healthified version of course and so tasty . . .

Today’s breakfast consisted of more cereal ( though I ate it all before I could snap a picture). Lunch consisted of leftover baked chicken strips that Corey and I made for dinner the other night served over a bed of spinach with some of my homemade Italian Vinaigrette dressing. Mmm . . .

Afternoon snack was a Red Delicious apple. Yay for apple season!

Dinner tonight was a small pita stuffed with a burger, some lettuce, bacon, and ketchup.

You may not be able to see the lettuce, but trust me it's there!

I had some beautiful tomato with it . . .

I also cooked (or tried to anyway) some kale chips. The instructions were to check them every 10 minutes. I had the timer set for 10 minutes so I could keep a close eye on them. However, after 7 or 8 minutes in the oven I noticed a funny smell and I realized that they had burned! I will try them again . . . maybe tomorrow. But next time, I will keep a much closer eye on them.

One response to “Reflections

  1. We have comcast and are allllllways having problems with the net!! It’s really unacceptable!

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