I have been trying all day to think of what I would write about. I don’t feel particularly happy or in a good mood. Yesterday was Internet-free day in our house and I felt liberated by the fact that I hardly took any pictures all day . . . of food anyway. I did take plenty of pictures of me, Corey and Callie in the park.
But there is one thing that has been on my mind all day. Corey and I have plans for a date night tonight. Since both of us have the next couple of days off work, it’s kind of nice (and a little luxurious) to have a date night in the middle of the week. We are going to one of our favorite places, Farm Burger. The burgers are made of grass-fed beef and every single ingredient is local and organic. The burgers are the best burgers I have ever had. Ever. I can really tell the difference in taste by eating all natural and local ingredients.
The problem that I have is guilt. All day long I have been feeling guilty for the fact that I will be eating a hamburger and onion rings and I have no idea how many calories are in them. I can’t seem to shake off this guilt or the feeling that I will gain ten pounds from the meal. Logically, I know that’s not possible. I know that it’s still possible for me to lose weight this week despite eating this meal. But I keep thinking about all the ways this meal could hurt me and my efforts to lose weight. I even contemplated restricting my calories for the rest of the day. I won’t. I know that not eating enough will make me want to eat even more tonight.
I am letting my guilt ruin my excitement over eating a wonderful meal and spending time with my husband. How do I get rid of this guilt? I am trying to talk myself out of this guilt, but that is much easier said than done.
It’s probably because my weight loss is progressing so slowly. So slowly that I am afraid to eat anything I like because it may jeopardize my efforts. But I feel the effects of my workouts. I actually have a little bit of definition in my biceps now. I see muscle for the first time in a long time. My abs, triceps, quads and thighs are sore from yesterday’s Jillian Michaels workout. Those are good things. Regardless of what pants size I am currently wearing, I know that I am getting stronger.
I know this post has been a bit of a ramble. I appreciate you guys for hanging in there with me. I feel better just by venting. I love the support that the blogging community provides.
And now I am going to end this post on an upbeat note: some pictures of me and my little family at the park yesterday. I love this weather!