Motivation

Tina at Carrots and Cake wrote an interesting post yesterday about books that were motivational to her in terms of healthy living and losing weight. That post got me thinking about the book that produced quite a few epiphanies for me.

Women, Food and God was a life-changing book for me. There were countless “a-ha” moments. When the author spoke about her experiences and her feelings about food, I felt like she was speaking about me. I could relate to her so much.

Now I think it is time to read that book for a second time (and maybe a couple of the books that Tina mentioned). The past couple of days have been rough for me. I have made some bad choices and I am trying to recover from a binge as I type this. I think I feel even guiltier for the binge because I am supposedly a healthy living blogger. I debated on whether to talk about this or not, but I want to be honest with you guys.

It seems like every single day is a struggle. I struggle to make the “right” choice with every single bite that goes into my mouth. Maybe that’s why I felt the urge to binge yesterday and tonight. I am just tired of the struggle. I am tired of fighting every day to be healthy and be active. So I gave in to my impulses because it’s the easier thing to do.

But every day is a day for new choices. I have to figure out a new way of coping and handling my urge to binge. Living a healthy lifestyle should not be this hard. Should it?

I think my first step is to go back to Geneen Roth’s guidelines to eating. These guidelines are good rules to follow and I can honestly say that I don’t follow any of them.

• Eat when you are hungry.
• Eat sitting down in a calm environment. This does not include the car.
• Eat without distractions. Distractions include radio, television, newspapers, books, intense or anxiety-producing conversations or music.
• Eat what your body wants.
• Eat until you are satisfied.
• Eat (with the intention of being) in full view of others.
• Eat with enjoyment, gusto and pleasure.

Thanks for following along with me during this little ramble. I promise that tomorrow’s post will be somewhat cheerier. 🙂

Do you follow these guidelines on a regular basis? Is there any book that has motivated you in terms of healthy living and weight loss?

Guilt

I have been trying all day to think of what I would write about. I don’t feel particularly happy or in a good mood. Yesterday was Internet-free day in our house and I felt liberated by the fact that I hardly took any pictures all day . . . of food anyway. I did take plenty of pictures of me, Corey and Callie in the park.

But there is one thing that has been on my mind all day. Corey and I have plans for a date night tonight. Since both of us have the next couple of days off work, it’s kind of nice (and a little luxurious) to have a date night in the middle of the week. We are going to one of our favorite places, Farm Burger. The burgers are made of grass-fed beef and every single ingredient is local and organic. The burgers are the best burgers I have ever had. Ever. I can really tell the difference in taste by eating all natural and local ingredients.

The problem that I have is guilt. All day long I have been feeling guilty for the fact that I will be eating a hamburger and onion rings and I have no idea how many calories are in them. I can’t seem to shake off this guilt or the feeling that I will gain ten pounds from the meal. Logically, I know that’s not possible. I know that it’s still possible for me to lose weight this week despite eating this meal. But I keep thinking about all the ways this meal could hurt me and my efforts to lose weight. I even contemplated restricting my calories for the rest of the day. I won’t. I know that not eating enough will make me want to eat even more tonight.

I am letting my guilt ruin my excitement over eating a wonderful meal and spending time with my husband. How do I get rid of this guilt? I am trying to talk myself out of this guilt, but that is much easier said than done.

It’s probably because my weight loss is progressing so slowly. So slowly that I am afraid to eat anything I like because it may jeopardize my efforts. But I feel the effects of my workouts. I actually have a little bit of definition in my biceps now. I see muscle for the first time in a long time. My abs, triceps, quads and thighs are sore from yesterday’s Jillian Michaels workout. Those are good things. Regardless of what pants size I am currently wearing, I know that I am getting stronger.

I know this post has been a bit of a ramble. I appreciate you guys for hanging in there with me. I feel better just by venting. I love the support that the blogging community provides. 🙂

And now I am going to end this post on an upbeat note: some pictures of me and my little family at the park yesterday. I love this weather!

Playing Fetch!

Taking a break from playing for some petting time

I should feel bad . . .

I should feel bad that I did not have one piece of fruit today.

I should feel bad that the only “vegetables” I ate today were the ones in my leftover Pizza Pot Pie . . .

as well as the baked fries I had with dinner.

I should feel bad that I bought some Ghirardelli Peppermint Bark Chocolate because eating it may or may not give me a headache.

I should feel bad that I used two Pecan Pie cookies from Whole Foods as shopping fuel.

I should feel bad that I did not exercise today.

But it’s hard to feel bad when the gifts are all wrapped.

And the stockings are filled.

And I FINALLY found Gingerbread Spice tea!

And it’s Christmas Eve Eve!

Merry Christmas Eve Eve! What do you refuse to feel bad about today?

Lazy Sundays

First, I just want to say that I love my new header! My wonderfully, technologically savvy husband took some ideas that I had and did exactly what I wanted. I have no clue how to use Photoshop, so I didn’t know where to begin. I think he did an AWESOME job!

I always intend for Sundays to be much more productive than they are. But today was kind of a lazy one. Although I did get a lot of working out done.

My husband does enjoy making me breakfast, so this morning I had him make me some blueberry pancakes from a recipe that I saw on Health.com. The recipe is one that combines oats, cottage cheese, vanilla, and eggs . . . and blueberries, of course! The pancakes came out very moist and super tasty!

First, you mix some oats, cottage cheese, eggs, and vanilla in a blender.

Then stir in some blueberries . . .

Then you fry them up and this is the final product . . .

Of course I just had to fry up some bacon to go with them!

And no, I didn’t eat ALL the pancakes! I just thought they looked pretty this way. 🙂 I will have some good leftovers a couple days this week for breakfast. That’s why I love pancake breakfasts!

Corey and I decided to go for a run right before lunch. We are actually trying to sell our house (we have been trying at that for quite a while now) and someone wanted to come see it today, so we had to go away for a while. We were planning a 4 mile run, but somewhere along the way I got a headache that was threatening to turn into a migraine. Maybe it was dehydration or the heat or something. So we had to cut the run in half. I’m hoping to go for a 4 mile run tomorrow. Long runs don’t have to be on the weekend, right?

The rest of the day was spent going to the Farmer’s Market, which was super crowded and where we spent a lot of our food budget on fruits and veggies. Everything looked so good though and I should have plenty of good snacks for the week.

Dinner was simple hamburger steaks with asparagus and mashed potatoes. Can you believe I never tried asparagus until a year ago? And I have never actually cooked it for myself. I have always been afraid to do that, afraid that I would screw it up. My dad gave me a kind of fool proof, tasty recipe. I pretty much just drizzled it with a little olive oil, sprinkled it with a little cajun seasoning and then tossed it around on a baking sheet to make sure it was evenly coated. Then, bake for 15-20 minutes and voila! Tasty asparagus. And it was super tasty. It’s not easy finding a vegetable that I like and that I can cook, but I like asparagus.

I even got Corey to try it as part of his trying something new.

Corey trying asparagus while making cupcakes

He said the taste was okay, but he wasn’t sure about the texture. I swear, whatever new thing he tries, it’s always a texture thing with him. Always.

And speaking of cupcakes, Corey has been craving cupcakes for over a week now. We had a box of cake mix in the cabinet and we bought a box if chocolate frosting over the weekend just so he could make them.

Apparently, I have a really hard time with the whole “balance” thing . Before he started making them, I was telling him ways he could make them healthier (such as replace the oil with applesauce). He didn’t want any part of that. Then I told him the cake mix has trans fats in it, which raises your chances of heart attack by some outrageous number. I think I made up the number I actually told him. Seriously, what was I doing? I am supposed to believe in balance and giving in to your craving and the man has been craving a cupcake for over a week. Maybe I still have problems with eating foods that have always been on my “forbidden list.” I still feel guilty about it. My husband actually said to me, “You’re ruining cupcake day.” I just had to laugh at that and I stopped myself at that point and just let him have his fun. Let him have his cupcake. And I may have snuck one too.

Asparagus on one hand and chocolate batter on the other . . . that's what I call balance!

delicious, creamy cupcake

The day ended on a great note with a Jillian Michaels workout, followed by fifteen minutes on the elliptical. So all in all, it was a pretty good day. And maybe one of these days, I will work on the balance thing and the guilt that it produces.